Listening to: All She Knows (Bruno Mars)


Shadowed in the dark of night, I lay awake, listening to the fan cut through the air and silence.


Just an hour or so ago, I poured out my heart into an email that would probably have repercussions of its own at a later date. But at least my stand is made. That being said, a road that is paved with good intentions will probably end in suffering.


Yet, most of us, myself included, are known to botch things up so badly that seemingly life-long bonds are broken. Why is it that good intentions hurt people so?

***

I digressed.

Today is the last day I spend at my current company. I will start a new journey after that which would possibly end with me writing something I am truly passionate about, on a different continent. 

I have to say the process hasn't been easy for me. 

On one hand, I go to a place that is better, more labor friendly, with lots more opportunities. On the other, I'm leaving behind all I have built here, things that I treasure, and start all over again. 

It's already set in stone, and I'm quite adamant about going but that doesn't necessarily make it easier. I need help. 

Well here it goes!  

Currently Listening to: Use Somebody (Kings of Leon)

Its not easy trying to do things that you've lost all interest in doing. No, I'm not talking about writing, I love writing too much. It's the conditions in which I'm writing in that is a kill joy. Now with that removed, laziness steps in.


That being said, I actually am having fun writing my last piece for the magazine. It has something to do with heroes and I guess it's quite a fun subject. I can't say that I haven't had fun working here. I will definitely miss most of the people here.


Everything has been set in motion. It's probable that I won't be in the country by the end of the year. I have lots to take into account. One of it being my parents and the venture I am embarking on. I still fear for a lot of matters that have not been set in stone. Plans are done but it starts with a leap of faith. 


Change is good. I guess.


There is one other matter which weighs heavy on my mind. 


Be clear about one thing: These words ring from the heart.


You can say all you want about not deserving to get hurt but when you hurt others, you deserve all the hurt you can get. I believe that somethings are never to be broken. You are not as innocent as you make yourself out to be, having used somebody (apt ain't it) and discard them when use is no longer required. 


Yeah, I know. I. Don't. Know. Period. And yeah I maybe don't. But I know there are better ways to go about it and I thought that you, a person I placed at a place of respect in my eyes, would know how to go about it. We looked up to you. But yeah. I. Don't. Know. Shit.


And bro (for the last time), You placed yourself as a source of comfort to him only to trample on his feelings. You were supposed to be a brother. Unbreakable codes were broken. Forget codes, it just wasn't an honorable way to do it. He trusted you, the least you could do was ask him. 


I stood up for you, in earnest, because I believed in you. Because I thought you were a bro. I would have stood up for you till the day that I died. For the both of you. 


In both accounts I was wrong. I dunno why it's impacting me the way it is, but it is. So in that I cast the first stone, to the ground. I was quite upset when I set out to write this but it kinda dissolved, and my thoughts probably never mattered in the first place. Plus I don't think the stone deserves it.


Be clear. It not what you did, it's how you did it. I hope that your decision proves to be a fruitful one, for in exchange for it, memories will lay in the past. Today my ties are cut.  

This is possibly my last day in this particular hell hole. Can't say I'm not looking forward to it. After this ends, some real work begins.

There is a certain relief in freedom that not many can really explain. It was yesterday that some of the best advertising ideas came to me. The experiences I have had here has taught me so much. The people I met,why I should never forsake family (I've literally seen first hand what that can do) and how not to treat people working under you.

Moving on, I will be embarking on something I have really wanted to do for a long time. It'll be a painstaking process but at least I'll have it on my time without having to give up my life or soul. It would also be a great learning process before I get a change of scenery.

On to better things.

The MAFFA regular season starts in a week's time. Confidence is one thing, but injuries are currently plaguing our roster and I don't know how we'll far we'll go like this. We can't afford to lose anybody but I guess I am really looking forward to this season. My last as an active member of the Tridents.

Who knows, this time next year, I'll be wearing pads and a helmet and wearing the number 31 instead. We'll see how it goes. Embassy here I come.

Now listening to: Past My Shades - B.O.B


2011. A year of Exodus for me and those around me. A journeyman year for me personally, my wife, as we face life together, a new chapter for  my football team, The Tridents, as we go on the road to win a championship, and for many around me, this year marks a start of a new journey. 

And like any journey, sacrifices have to be made. With my journey, moving to a place where I'm not all too comfortable, much sooner than even I expected, isn't some thing that I'm too thrilled about. Unfortunately, it is something that is necessary and something that is key to my future plans.


The Exodus experience isn't something everyone goes through. In fact, very few get to experience some thing so life changing. I guess I'm lucky in that sense. On the flip side, I would have to leave the life that I am so accustomed to, behind. Friends, experiences and other things like that.


This time next year I may be padded up, playing full-contact football with the PIrates (possibly) rather than trying to win the MAFFA league here, as a Trident. The one thing that is making this very easy is work.


Looking to the future, this is the move that will make or break my future. It has to work out I guess. I must succeed where others have failed. For the sake of my family. Trying to get things organized is quite tough. And it continues.