OVER!! Exams are OVER! And I am officially overkill. BEC probably killed me. Too early to tell but I may well be sitting for my first ever supplementary paper ate the beginning of my third year.

Well, I got to start somewhere. But hey lets not kill chickens before they even hatch.

At the end of the exams, looking back in retrospective, this has to be the most challenging semester without question.

I mean in term of hard the subjects are.. Well geez, it has to be challenging if you have a lecturer that is perpetually having a menstrual cycle on overdrive, another that comes into class and talks about his wife, kids and 102 girlfriends, and my personal favorite, the lecturer that teaches us by having us listen to student presentations and not tell us he is going to use those random journals for the exams. Whoop-dee-do.

The taking of a part-time job, probably wasn't the wisest choice I made. Because of that, I saw how good people change for the worst. But in that process I did gain alot more from that loss.

Being desperate for attention and affection is no good? Yeah I would say it isn't. But I'll just wait for the time I can go I told you so. As of now, I'll be ignorant.

Ooo thats one more skill I acquired, to be ignorant. Opinions, no matter how right it is, is usually not welcomed. I learned this from church, from uni and from a select few of my "friends". People just don't want to hear that they have made a mistake. This thankfully, doesn't happen withing my close circle of friends.

There are good things happening as well though. A lot of it. Probably the reason why I can still smile at the end of it all.

Hanging Up the Green Apron

Yeah people! Ya heard!? Its all true as of this time next month I shall no longer be a Starbucks Barista. I will tender my resignation in the coming days.

The reason? Well something that was said last week - The fact that we just load ourself up with more responsibilities and even more responsibilities after that and later complain bout not having the time for oneself to relax - really got to me.

So obviously it doesn't take long for me to come to the conclusion that amidst my ever growing assignment workload and church duties perhaps it is better I do not load myself with a side job which I took at a whim being backed by a university buddy who has some what changed for the worst since recent events and doesn't realize it (but who am I to judge her, its her life), with me not really needing the money much.

SO.. three days worth of deliberations and after seeking counsel with my inner circle of advisors I decided to call it quits today. I have to say I'm feeling quite good about it.

There are other inside factors, though none of them major factors, made it very much easier for me to come to this conclusion, however there are those who I will not forget during this lifetime and I hope they are blessed the way they have been a blessing to me.

And so with a slightly heavy heart and lifted burden from my back I prepare to bid thee goodbye green apron, thou hast been funeth whileth it lasteth.

"A man's discernment often leads to him making a choice he doesn't want to make," - Sypher 2008.

There is three things a man cannot escape; death, judgement and change. Lately changes have left me having to step out of my own comort zone and forcing me to take a wider view of the rosy picture I've painted for myself and I realize that where I dwell is but a place where a person like me has no place. Or so I thought.

I shall not name any names, though as tempted as I am to give these people a piece of my mind, has made me question certian things that go on in church. Question it so much in fact that I barely recognized that place anymore.

But some how things that God put in my life more recently forced me to take step further back to realized I'm not meant to drone on these things. I was given these gifts by God and as little as these gifts are, it is meant to glorify He who gave me the gifts. Yeah sounding a little happy clappy but its true, I get so wound up in my overthinking I forget the fundamentals of the faith which is to forgive.

And so as of today no matter how much *blank* I go through this blog shall edify and not ridicule.

Its been a long, LONG time since I last blogged so as you can tell I've turned to a hibernating blogger once again.

The 2 reasons for this frequent phenomenon is that I am either...
a) Too busy with my life to blog
b) There is nothing worth blogging about

Today however I need to rant. This has been a bad week, somewhat. An this is a tale of two people.

Price of petrol has gone up. Agitated that Malaysians are so cheapskate that they have to clog up the highways and streets to get petrol before the price hike is such a Malaysian thing to do. And we say Singaporeans are 'Kia Su'. That was irritation number one.

Irritation number two is a person I shall call 'Queen'. Queen is a person who, I don't know how to put this...
a) expects you to call him/her and asking him/her if he/she is car pulling with you the next day instead of calling you to inform you.

or..

b)Deems it his/her right to let you drive to his/her place the next morning, wasting your petrol (which has gone up in price by 40% mind you) and time just to find out you didn't have to pick him/her up.

or BOTH.

And this is the second time. (Well he/she was sick the 1st time this happened so its forgiven)

And has the cheek to ask "why am I always making him angry?".

Now suddenly he/she drives.

The funny thing is this, I'm not angry that he/she doesn't drive eventhough he/she can. Its the 'not informing me or another person in the carpool that you're not coming' part that irritates me. A simple sorry would suffice but I guess some people are above that.

The other major irritation happened today. You say something wrong, your friends/groupmates in good humour tease you about it and you...

Blow up (may be too strong a word) in their faces.

Then once you cool down, you ask a person that you scolded for no reason why is he/she sulking, and scold him/her again because he/she is angry at you for (insert matter stated earlier). Any apologies? Didn't think so.

Fair? Very I guess, by the world's standards.

Yeah I sound fickle but hey if you don't rant after being put in these situations and not by means of ignorance, gimme an e-mail, You can be my mentor.

On to other stuff that annoy me is... Office politics.

I'm no employee of the month, but I do my job and I do it somewhat well. But blaming me because I have other more pressing responsibilities (my church, my dog, my house) than going to some trip up in the highlands is a wee bit unfair. But owh well. Hate me all you want.

Yeah its been quite a week. I'm tired.

Video Blogging was a dumb idea.

Feeling like a useless half wit now.

*Bangs head on table*

I

am

a

useless,

good

for

nothing,

clueless

jerk.


Yes that may not be enough to sum it up.

Basically, what do you call failing no matter how hard you try, many, many times?
Answer? Pulling a Kelvin.

Hey all,

Its been a long, LONG time since the last update. This blog has somewhat died and to be quite frank I may not be updating as frequently as I used to. Picture and video blogging eh?

Well, I've finished my internship with The Star newspaper, a truly enlightening experience to the job market I've offered myself to. There is the good and the bad. I did not opt to extend and boy was I glad when it was over. I spent more money then I earned.

My baby's B'day also passed. Many plans on that day. Poor planing for the last one, which seemed more like people trying to use us for transportation (Well I was notified of the time in the afternoon of that very day even though it has been planned for a week in advance. I only knew I had to pick people 3 hours before the event. You tell me). Baby was somewhat upset, I was furious. So I brought her out for shopping the next day for her presents.

The next week we had another B'day celebration with Jee and Whales (Jee confirmed my suspicions) and we watched the very first commercial screening of Iron Man in Sunway Pyramid. The show was highly enjoyable and It was nice to see baby enjoying herself.

And so the celebrations are over and I'm short of cash. So i took up a job as a barista. Doing well so far and I am enjoying it. Updates on the job soon.

Now on to my personal ramblings.

LIFE is like a hollywood movie. Its always about a girl and things change at such a fast pace you wouldn't believe it. I'm going thru some major adjustments like returning to my duties in church and the ministry I serve in as well as nuturing a relationship.

In terms of the relationship, it has not been all sweet roses. Still working on it and hopefully we'll get it right. Need to iron out these minor lump before the battle with time and distance.

On another note.

So many things happened while I was away. Someone left, reasons are unknown to me still. All I know there was a breakdown involved. Why and how is still not known and I fear it will never be. This same person also slammed the phone on me after I declined his invertation to go out for supper due to Mother's Day practice. At mothers day practice more things happened which I will not mention here. Avoidable, people related 'mishaps' (I use mishaps because I cannot find a better word) which I may not understand completely.

But they happen and still life goes on. The person who slammed the phone on me, has in the past caused me strife and I just don't indulge in his company anymore. Eventhough sorries have been said sometimes you forgive but you heart and mind doesn't let you forget. I think he knows how that feels now and I sympatize with him, its a sucky feeling. All the best to you in your soul searching.

I've looked up to people, and often times I'm let down. Because people are people I guess. My Dad always asked me, "If God was perfect why did he create something after his own likeness that isn't perfect?,". I think I'm slowly understanding why.

Owh well and life goes on.

Time passes so slowly on days you want to leave early and you never have enough energy for the day you want to work late.

But for me, I never want to work late if not paid well.

***

There has been talks of boicotting the Malaysian newspapers circulating through SMSs and e-mails because of unfair media coverage which usually favors the ruling party.

Well being a citizen alone I would so agree with that statement and would be one of the first to do so.

But a note to consider* - My arrogant and ignorant uncle says that he hasn't been reading the news papers for 6 months and instead comes over and sells my gullible mother rumors which validity is really unknown (My uncle's a tall tale kinda person, acts like he knows alot but really, knows squat). And my mom would buy it (my disliking for my Mom's choices are another thing altogether).

So where are you gonna get your news?

The internet? Malaysiakini perhaps. A site, though giving Malaysians an alternative to news, is lop-sided towards the opposition and hell bent to goventment bashing in the way they write. We'll thats just my opinion. Maybe support the online versions of The Star, NST and the Sun? Give them a chance to start charging for it? Or just be as ignorant as my 'uncle'.

Now I'm speaking as a person who has been in the media scene.

People do not realize that The Star has been closed down for persuing investigative journalism and uncovering more than it should have. So fear to cross that line is still there. People are still trying to make a living. And the rest of the news publications are just learning from that mistake. Not to mention the political ties of newspaper companies and the segment parties of the ruling coalition.

That what these people sending out those SMSs and e-mails don't understand. This not so free press is the doing of the ISA and OSA the PPPA all those As. Reporters are humans, with bills to pay, families to provide for, loans to pay for and etc. So get of you high horses and start bringing down the ISA, OSA and PPPA if you want a balanced press not boicot the newspapers.
***

Its been a bad month for me. Within this month I've had financial, relationship, family and personal problems.

My GF's phone was snatched earlier this month and recently had a boo-boo on the road. Had me worried sick. Had quarrels too.

My income is not lving to the out put. I spend RM100 on petrol alone every week. Four weeks in a month makes the grand total RM400. My income is a measly 300 smacks. Tough.

Ah family problems. Mother dearest is at it again. in 1999 she shifted to Subang with out consulting me at least. And I had to live the the consequence. In 2004 I shifted to USJ 3 just because of feng shui talk between my cocker uncle and my mom buying all the, to me, hogwash. And again, the person who had to uproot everything and do heavy lifting, reschdule all activities be acuse of the heavy lifting is the father and the kids, naming ly the son, because he has teh muscles. And lets make it a third one. This year she said lets renovate. After hearing what the neighbours had said while comparing houses, she decided she didn't want to lose out. And after many sleepless nights, now I have to lift stuff, endure my mom's poor decisions and bad timing and all the holier than thou rantings.

My mom is like the BN govenment. More often then not, it doesn't deliver. Yeah, yeah, be grateful you wretch. I can almost hear some of the 'people' say. Well its not a sin to disagree you bunch of holy bags.

M and my man bro have been having problems of late. Again I feel their pain. Gossip mongers putting unneeded pressure on. I'm really angered by those douche bags.

Ahh but there is good news. No one got killed and everyone is strengthened because of it. The month seems to be smoothing out. I've learned and become a better person. More understanding too I hope.

Thanks to people who I least expected for supporting me.

Ja-ne.