Ladies and Gentlemen.

I thank you for following this blog thus far (I know there aren't many of you). Many things have happened, both good and bad and soon things will fall into place, I hope.


This is the last post I'll be posting up on this blog. After this my retarded journey will no longer be mine alone. So goodbye dear faithful and severely neglected blog. I shall miss thee.

Pedestrians


I was recently woken up abruptly to run an errand that required me to drive - really fast. I was during that time that the morning traffic decided to be heavier that usual. It is also then when a myriad of pedestrians decide to come out. Interestingly enough, the way these pedestrians walk can symbolize quite a number of things.

The Overly Cautious

There  are those who need the road to be completely clear before being able to cross the road. These people wait and wait and sometimes miss out on an opportune time to actually cross the road much earlier.

The Overly Reckless

It doesn't matter whether the car is a mile or 20 yards away. When they decide to cross, they cross. They don't usually take too long to decide when to cross mind you.

The Jay-walkers

These are the ones that cross halfway, stops in the middle, waits for you to pass, and then continue to make their way across. What they don't realize is that motorcycles use the space hat they wait in to overtake.

The "Now? Maybe now? NOW!"

These people have issues. They jump out to cross, scare the drivers half to death and then decide its to dangerous to cross and pulls back. Sometimes they don't do it once but many, many times

Sounds a lot like the way people go through life doesn't it?

***

Well I'm at that bridge again, the love of my life has left me for the very same shore that separated us just a year ago. And her I find myself worrying again. Given, its not about the same thing, but it leads to the same thing - me being back in her arms, planning or future together once again. 

It all depends on my visa application and I really hope that it goes through sooner rather than later. Then there is the worry if it gets rejected altogether. Then there would be an issue. But as it is I'm trying to be patient through this very trying time. Waking up every morning feeling empty isn't an ideal way to start your morning after all isn't it?

I know what most readers who would read this would be thinking - "Emo kid". Perhaps. But not without good reason. They tell you at the beginning of the relationship that both parties should be already happy individually before getting into a relationship. Only then will it last. What they didn't tell you is that after a long while together, you start depending on each other, much like how you depend on your right arm, your legs or even your eyes. 

To lose it after s long kinda leaves you handicapped. But you do what you can for a promise of a better future. 

You survive.  

 

Listening to: All She Knows (Bruno Mars)


Shadowed in the dark of night, I lay awake, listening to the fan cut through the air and silence.


Just an hour or so ago, I poured out my heart into an email that would probably have repercussions of its own at a later date. But at least my stand is made. That being said, a road that is paved with good intentions will probably end in suffering.


Yet, most of us, myself included, are known to botch things up so badly that seemingly life-long bonds are broken. Why is it that good intentions hurt people so?

***

I digressed.

Today is the last day I spend at my current company. I will start a new journey after that which would possibly end with me writing something I am truly passionate about, on a different continent. 

I have to say the process hasn't been easy for me. 

On one hand, I go to a place that is better, more labor friendly, with lots more opportunities. On the other, I'm leaving behind all I have built here, things that I treasure, and start all over again. 

It's already set in stone, and I'm quite adamant about going but that doesn't necessarily make it easier. I need help. 

Well here it goes!  

Currently Listening to: Use Somebody (Kings of Leon)

Its not easy trying to do things that you've lost all interest in doing. No, I'm not talking about writing, I love writing too much. It's the conditions in which I'm writing in that is a kill joy. Now with that removed, laziness steps in.


That being said, I actually am having fun writing my last piece for the magazine. It has something to do with heroes and I guess it's quite a fun subject. I can't say that I haven't had fun working here. I will definitely miss most of the people here.


Everything has been set in motion. It's probable that I won't be in the country by the end of the year. I have lots to take into account. One of it being my parents and the venture I am embarking on. I still fear for a lot of matters that have not been set in stone. Plans are done but it starts with a leap of faith. 


Change is good. I guess.


There is one other matter which weighs heavy on my mind. 


Be clear about one thing: These words ring from the heart.


You can say all you want about not deserving to get hurt but when you hurt others, you deserve all the hurt you can get. I believe that somethings are never to be broken. You are not as innocent as you make yourself out to be, having used somebody (apt ain't it) and discard them when use is no longer required. 


Yeah, I know. I. Don't. Know. Period. And yeah I maybe don't. But I know there are better ways to go about it and I thought that you, a person I placed at a place of respect in my eyes, would know how to go about it. We looked up to you. But yeah. I. Don't. Know. Shit.


And bro (for the last time), You placed yourself as a source of comfort to him only to trample on his feelings. You were supposed to be a brother. Unbreakable codes were broken. Forget codes, it just wasn't an honorable way to do it. He trusted you, the least you could do was ask him. 


I stood up for you, in earnest, because I believed in you. Because I thought you were a bro. I would have stood up for you till the day that I died. For the both of you. 


In both accounts I was wrong. I dunno why it's impacting me the way it is, but it is. So in that I cast the first stone, to the ground. I was quite upset when I set out to write this but it kinda dissolved, and my thoughts probably never mattered in the first place. Plus I don't think the stone deserves it.


Be clear. It not what you did, it's how you did it. I hope that your decision proves to be a fruitful one, for in exchange for it, memories will lay in the past. Today my ties are cut.  

This is possibly my last day in this particular hell hole. Can't say I'm not looking forward to it. After this ends, some real work begins.

There is a certain relief in freedom that not many can really explain. It was yesterday that some of the best advertising ideas came to me. The experiences I have had here has taught me so much. The people I met,why I should never forsake family (I've literally seen first hand what that can do) and how not to treat people working under you.

Moving on, I will be embarking on something I have really wanted to do for a long time. It'll be a painstaking process but at least I'll have it on my time without having to give up my life or soul. It would also be a great learning process before I get a change of scenery.

On to better things.

The MAFFA regular season starts in a week's time. Confidence is one thing, but injuries are currently plaguing our roster and I don't know how we'll far we'll go like this. We can't afford to lose anybody but I guess I am really looking forward to this season. My last as an active member of the Tridents.

Who knows, this time next year, I'll be wearing pads and a helmet and wearing the number 31 instead. We'll see how it goes. Embassy here I come.

Now listening to: Past My Shades - B.O.B


2011. A year of Exodus for me and those around me. A journeyman year for me personally, my wife, as we face life together, a new chapter for  my football team, The Tridents, as we go on the road to win a championship, and for many around me, this year marks a start of a new journey. 

And like any journey, sacrifices have to be made. With my journey, moving to a place where I'm not all too comfortable, much sooner than even I expected, isn't some thing that I'm too thrilled about. Unfortunately, it is something that is necessary and something that is key to my future plans.


The Exodus experience isn't something everyone goes through. In fact, very few get to experience some thing so life changing. I guess I'm lucky in that sense. On the flip side, I would have to leave the life that I am so accustomed to, behind. Friends, experiences and other things like that.


This time next year I may be padded up, playing full-contact football with the PIrates (possibly) rather than trying to win the MAFFA league here, as a Trident. The one thing that is making this very easy is work.


Looking to the future, this is the move that will make or break my future. It has to work out I guess. I must succeed where others have failed. For the sake of my family. Trying to get things organized is quite tough. And it continues.    

It's been seven months since I actually logged on and attempted to blog. I guess now that I write for a living, the joy of writing has kinda diminished.

Current state: In a cold room, bundled up and sneezing

The place itself is filled with tension so thick you can cut through it. Slamming this, throwing that. Yeah maybe it ain't that dramatic but it doesn't mean that the tension ain't real. I'm just bored with all the mood throwing. I don't like it but I guess I'm gonna have to live through it.

I need to find more time for myself. I haven't done any photography projects in awhile and if I don't, I'm gonna lose touch. But My job doesn't really permit that. I need to figure out what is it I really want to do.

Growing up Sucks.